What do you get when you cross Lou Reed with Metallica?

I’ve been a big fan of Lou Reed every since I heard “Take a Walk on the Wild Side”. I was a kid and had no idea what he was talking about but I didn’t care. It was different. And it had a certain soul.

No one questions the man’s genius. Having attended Syracuse University in the early 60’s, Reed hosted a show on WAER called “Excursions On A Wobbly Rail”, playing mostly free form jazz, rhythm and Blues, and doo wop. While at SU he penned The Gift, a dark comedy piece that he would later record with The Velvet Underground.

Having loved his work both during and after the Velvets, my curiosity was piqued when I head he was recording an album with Metallica. I’ve never been a Metallica fan but with Reed’s creative genius, one never knows. Maybe this will be his latest masterpiece.

Here’s how Wikipedia described the release:

Conceptually, the album is based around Lulu – two plays originally written by the German playwright Frank Wedekind. A majority of the album’s composition is based around spoken word delivered by Reed over instrumentals composed by Metallica, with occasional backing vocals provided by Metallica lead vocalist James Hetfield. Reed wrote a majority of the lyrics. The album was released worldwide on October 31, 2011, and on November 1 in North America.[3] Upon its release, Lulu received generally negative reviews from most music critics and was widely panned. Review website Metacritic listed the album as the worst of 2011. – Wikipedia

I generally listen to a piece all the way through before I pass judgement. This time I’m making an exception. I simply couldn’t get through it. That being the case, I thought it wise to let you know what some others are saying about the record.

So the two camps of opinion are as follows. First, there are those who find this album straightforwardly awful, a point of view that can be commended for being practical and decisive. The second group is more polyglot: those who think it’s terrific that an album this ludicrous could be made and released by big-time musicians; those who are cheered by hearing artists do something unusual and uncommercial simply because they feel like it; those who love the idea of a sprawling, baffling art piece potentially selling a million copies to Metallica’s devoted fan base; and those who are simply giddy over the sheer wonderful Luluness of this hypermasculine bellowing. – NY Mag

Or how ’bout this one….

Shorthand review: This is the indulgent sound of the angst of millionaires.
And in the times of Wall Street being occupied and the very nature of music itself being overrun with purposeless, directionless claptrap. It’s doubly insulting. – Collapse Board

So what do you get when you cross Lou Reed with Metallica? Self indulgent crap. On the star system we give this a rating of…one steaming turd.

Now that that’s out of the way, enjoy one of Lou’s better efforts below.